___Let go___

If there's a word that I don't like, it's "Let go". Goodbyes and I, we don't see eye to eye. And for as long as I can remember, I have never had a good experience with it. And I don't understand why, after so many goodbyes, I still can't handle it well.

Soon, 2011 will end and I foresee goodbyes being exchange... I am partially prepared for it. I know that change is inevitable. I know that they have to go. I know things won't stay the same forever. Yet, I still wish I don't have to go through those moments. The nearer it get, the more painful it is.

Honestly, I really don't know how to react when the time comes. When it's time to part, when the last goodbye is said, when one sees them walk off, when one knows they will not be that close to you anymore, when one is left alone to survive and carry on with life.

Of course I don't want them to go, of course I won't want to let them go... but what can I do? I keep telling myself, this is for the good of all mankind. Good for the past, good for the present,... and above it all, it's good for the future.

It's not easy to just leave everything and walk out of somebody's life. It's even tougher if they have been there through thick and thin with you. And it's definitely not easy when you know that there'll be no one there to hold you through the deepest shit, that from now on, it's you... only you.

Yes, I know I'll see them again. Yes, I know technology is so advance it will feel as if they are just next to me. Yes, I know that... and I also know distance makes the hearts grow fonder. I know, but I also know it won't be the same anymore.

... I guess I have to keep telling myself, "It won't be that bad, Angela. You'll get over it." Yeah, I'll get over it but, I think this, this time round, it's going to take awhile...